The Muppets are back! http://hellotxt.com/l/j3qY

What it's like to lose to Michael Phelps: http://hellotxt.com/l/pngU

China's solution to speeding, aka the Ultimate Speedbump: http://hellotxt.com/l/OWwP

Bike thief caught with 2300 bikes: http://hellotxt.com/l/csnb

Ok, Tropic Thunder was Fucking Awesome!

Just sat down for Tropic Thunder. My hopes are high.

I've always been uncertain of Britney Spears' singing ability, but now I know just how talented she is (video): http://hellotxt.com/l/Itcq

Gave my Schwinn some sweet new fenders today. Very Pimpt.

To the person that ashed their cigarette on me and my bike, fuck-you-very-much

Just signed a petition for an 18 yr old coworker to run for mayor. No way she's getting my vote, though.

I'm dressed and ready for work. Unfortunately, I just realized that I don't have to be there for 2.5 hours!

It's idiots like this that ruined religion for me: http://hellotxt.com/l/R7in

How to win a fight against 20 children: http://hellotxt.com/l/pV8w

Who needs women with mad skills like this? http://hellotxt.com/l/Fop7

ICE CREAM! http://hellotxt.com/l/SoC0